The magic squat (to rewrite)

20 September 2018 : 5 weeks (1 month)

I’ve discovered 4 methods to calm Lochie’s crying, listed in order of effectiveness. (#1 will surprise you.)

1. The waist trainer
   Be in a standing position with feet shoulder width apart. Hold the baby’s head in the palm of your hand, with the baby’s torso lying on your arm and his legs around your belly. The free hand can be used for additional support. Now swing side to side doing 180° around your waist. Tense the abs for extra work-out. Although this motion may seem sickening for an adult, I have read that it is quite pleasant for a child and in fact it seems to work wonders. Lochie falls asleep within minutes. He finds it fascinating that the ceiling is spinning, so a little bit of light may help. The swaying motion is definitely one of his favourite. Modification of this method can be done by placing hte baby facing down on his tummy, head in your palm, feet against your body. That also counts as tummy time.
   
2. The physio ball
   Cuddle baby while sitting on the physio ball. Not only is it surprisingly pleasant to sit on the physio ball after having strained your upper and perhaps your lower back, but it allows you to bounce the baby in a gentle and simple way.
   
3. The beloved boob
   An old time favourite of babies, nursing usually calms a crying baby because the most common reason for a baby’s cry is hunger. Your feeders do not only provide sweet goodness, but also comfort. Did you know that, for a baby, suckling even helps with pain relief? As a soothing method, the beloved boob always works. Except when it doesn’t. (Lately breastfeeding is not working for us. When I bring Lochie to the nipple, he cries louder than he does during immunisation. Feeding sessions are starting to look like a boxing match of Lips vs Nipple. It’s hard not to feel rejected. For something that nature intended, it sure does not come naturally. The popularity of lactation consultants proves that breastfeeding is a serious and complex challenge. It took a second pregnancy for this breastfeeding thing to click, and even then I’m still traumatised. More on that in another blog.)
   
4. The magic squat
   This method has 100% success rate. I have applied scientific rigour to this hypothesis and experimented with other babies. No baby is immune to the magic squat! Hold the baby under the arms, with your arms bent at a 45° angle to your body (think bicep press), baby’s head resting in your palms, his body supported by your arms, and his legs pressed slightly against your body to provide some form of grounding. And squat! Lochie is fascinated by the world that seems to bop about him. It stops him crying every time like magic.